Honestly, anytime someone has a shift, a release, a realization, or something like that, to me it’s the best session ever. This is a great one, though, because it covers lots of territory, all in one. So I’ll tell the story here.
This was our second session, two weeks after the first session. When we began, she told me that she almost cancelled because she had been feeling so good the last two weeks. She had been thinking, “This is kind of too good to be true.” Then she said she decided to embrace this awesome feeling and told herself, “Maybe this is how it can be now – maybe this really is me.” Great choice.
I said it’s not too good to be true. but there tend to be layers, so be ready for the next layer of old feelings or thoughts. But I told her that she knows the process now, so she knows what to do. Just keep doing the same thing – let feelings pass through without making a big deal about them and keep your thinking in check. Wash, rinse, repeat. I told her that the key is always catching any weeds as early as possible and whacking them right then and there. Mental and emotional weeds. And I said if she continues to do this as the layers come back, they’ll be weaker and weaker. She’s firmly on the path to peace.
At this point, we’re like five minutes into the session and we’re getting very close to our first fist bump. As you know by now, I get excited about things like this… I said that that awesome feeling is who you are – it’s your core. It’s just that it gets covered up. A lot. This path is always about undoing and unlearning, which is much easier and downstream than doing and learning. You don’t have to learn how to be who you already are. Just stop being who you are not. And that comes in the form of busting yourself in the moment and stopping. Love it…
My client initially came in assuming she was quite “screwed up” and would need lots of therapy. I told her towards the end of the first session something that I’ve said to many of my clients: “I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not as messed up as you think. You just have to let go of stuff and work on your thinking.” She did this for two weeks and couldn’t believe the results. A cool thing happened, though. A couple days before coming back, she got into an argument with her boyfriend. And what did her mind do right away? It started talking about how she had lost what she had gained and she wasn’t doing it right. The mind likes to tell stories… But what did she do when she noticed this? She whacked it! She stopped it in its tracks and basically said, “No – I’m not going down that road.” She made a choice in a place where there had never been a choice before. She checked in with the feelings at the time and let them move on.
This really is how life can be, folks. Do you see the power of the mind? Re-read that last paragraph if not. In fact, re-read it anyway! It’s a great example of how simple it can be to change course, right there on the spot. The “I had peace and now I lost it” thing is a very common experience, but it’s really no big deal. Peace cannot be lost, but only covered up. The mind tries to take you down one road, a dark alley that you’ve gone down countless times. And you finally realize that you’re the one driving. You’re not a passenger. It’s so simple, but it takes a lot of practice for most of us (definitely for me). This is life-long stuff, though, so there’s no rush. The old way has years of momentum behind it, if not lifetimes. So we’re breaking a very old habit. They say that the path of a thousand miles begins with the first step, though. And that’s what a step looks like: noticing what your mind is saying and gently questioning it for truth. And if you don’t know for a fact that it’s true, you start the practice of ditching it. And then rejoice!
I have not seen that client in about a year now, and I don’t even remember her name or what she looks like. I just noticed that this post had been pretty much finished about a year ago but not published. I definitely remember how psyched I was that day, though, when she told me this. I wish her well wherever she is, and if she is reading this, then please call or email me! I’d love to know how the last year has been compared to the other years of your life. She drove over from somewhere west of here; that’s all I remember.
I’m so glad that I “stumbled upon” this almost-finished post, though, so that I can share it with you. This really is cool and powerful stuff, and we’re just getting started. I really have no idea where it’s going, but I’m digging the ride so far and I’m quite honored to be on it. All the best to you and best wishes on your own journey, which is the exactly same as mine – to the full awakening of the truth of who you really are. Hint: you are not small or weak, but quite the opposite. We will be talking about this more and more, and we’ll even be bringing cutting edge science into it. Peace out, great stuff…